We're like a lot better than the average bears
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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