so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
