thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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