Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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