He uses pillows to masturbate.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
