Duck Duck Cougar?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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