I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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