How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
