i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
