See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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