We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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