Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
