i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
