just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
