He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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