Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
