I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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