that's an acceptable place to lick
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
