p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
