so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
