Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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