p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
