I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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