I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We are all done wearing pants today
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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