You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
