So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
