Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
