i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
