Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
