You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
