Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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