I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
