I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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