What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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