Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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