Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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