this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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