do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
