There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
