just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Dear god my vagina.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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