we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
