you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
