I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
