It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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