you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
