my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
