were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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