She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
