i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
