I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
