just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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